How the Queen Mother dealt with grandchildren’s divorce chaos,
Today would have marked the Queen Mother’s 125th birthday and in her long and remarkable life she witnessed massive changes in attitudes within Britain.
She lived to see the legalisation of abortion and homosexuality as well as the criminalisation of capital punishment.
But the societal change that perhaps most impacted Elizabeth was the growing societal acceptance of divorce in Britain.
Indeed, the Royal Family’s hostility to divorce in the 1930s was part of the reason her husband King George VI ascended to the throne.
This came about after King Edward VIII caused a major constitutional crisis in 1936 when he made clear his wish to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson.
This ended with Edward abdicating and his younger brother taking his place.
Looking forward 60 years, Elizabeth and George’s daughter Queen Elizabeth II faced a cacophony of divorces, with three out of her four children in unhappy marriages.
According to William Shawcross, who wrote the Queen Mother’s official biography, the breakdowns of her grandchildrens’ marriages affected her ‘profoundly’ and although she ‘rarely committed her views to paper’ she gave them as much support as they needed.
Shawcross wrote the Royal Family were very aware of how unhappy Charles and Diana’s marriage was long before their divorce.
‘The births of their [Charles and Diana] two much-loved sons, Prince William in 1982 and Prince Harry in 1984, gave joy to them as well as to everyone else in the family.
‘But hopes that motherhood would bring the princess fulfilment proved illusory. Within the family, enthusiasm and hopes for the marriage gave way to anxiety and concern.’
And by 1986 the Queen Mother and other family members were very aware the Prince and Princess of Wales’s marriage had ‘all but broken down’.
On top of this, Princess Anne had her own marital problems and she became Elizabeth’s first granddaughter to separate from her husband, Captain Mark Phillips, in 1989 and by 1992 they were divorced.
And then Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson’s marriage started to deteriorate just six years after their wedding in 1986.
By 1992 the Royals faced the prospect of not one but an unprecedented three royal divorces.
In the midst of these crises, the matriarch of the Windsors was willing to give her grandchildren as much support as she could.
However, while some wanted advice from her, Elizabeth always wished to avoid confrontation within the family.
Shawcross said that her stance earnt the Queen Mother the unflattering nickname of the ‘imperial ostrich’ – in reference to her tendency to put her head in the sand duirng more difficult family affairs.
‘She thought her role was not to try and change people’s courses but to be an anchor,’ he wrote.
Even if she did want to metaphorically bury her head in the sand, the Queen Mother’s grandchildren still leaned on her throughout this difficult time.
In December 1992, Elizabeth was shown by Charles the draft statement to be made by the Prime Minister announcing his separation from Diana.
The Queen Mother’s old school views on privacy also clashed with how Diana and Sarah Ferguson handled the breakdown of their marriages.
In June 1992, the Sunday Times started to serialise Andrew Morton’s biography of Diana, which the Princess of Wales had covertly collaborated on.
Then in August that year, damning photos of John Bryan, an American financial manager, sucking on Sarah’s toes as she sunbathed were published in the UK press.
Shawcross said: ‘She [The Queen Mother] had been sympathetic to both the Princess of Wales and the Duchess of York over the enormous pressure they faced from the media.
‘But the washing of dirty linen in public was utterly abhorrent to Elizabeth. Her entire life was based upon obligation, discretion and restraint.
‘The Princess’s [Diana’s] public rejection of her husband and his life was contrary to everything that Elizabeth believed and practiced.’
Likewise, she ‘regretted’ when Charles sat down for a series of interviews with journalist Jonathan Dimbleby.
In response, Elizabeth said: ‘It’s always a mistake to talk about your marriage.’
One person she was particularly concerned about through the drama of 1992 was her daughter Queen Elizabeth II who went on to describe the year as her ‘annus horribilis’.
Shawcross said: ‘She also talked almost daily to her daughter the Queen, who was distraught about what was happening to her children and the fact that it was taking place so publicly.
‘Queen Elizabeth often asked members of the Household, “Is the Queen alright?” They in turn recognized that the frequent conversations between mother and daughter helped the Queen to maintain her sangfroid and sense of perspective.’
The end of the year ended on a high at least when Princess Anne married Commander Tim Lawrence on December 12.
The ceremony took place at Crathie church near Balmoral.
However, the wedding happened to clash with one of the Queen Mother’s parties at the Royal Lodge in Windsor.
But in order not to miss her granddaughter’s second wedding the 92-year-old flew to Scotland for the ceremony before flying back to Windsor in time for dinner with her party guests.
