A mom who spent the better part of 10 years ‘gentle parenting’ has admitted she made a mistake – and is now desperately trying to reverse it.
Mom-of-two Jaclyn Williams shared a video to Instagram, where she detailed her former parenting style, which she says made her children ‘anxious, insecure and entitled.’
‘I can spot gentle parenting’ kids because I raised two of them… 10 years later… I’m having to undo it…,’ she shared.
In the caption, Williams explained she was a ‘gentle parent’ for years, which involved ‘validating every emotion, processing their feelings extensively, explaining every boundary, compromising and avoiding harsh punishments.’
‘I thought I was doing it right,’ she wrote. ‘Then my kids got older and I started seeing the results in real-time.’
Williams said one of her children became ‘anxious about everything, insecure in their abilities, entitled and emotionally dysregulated.’
She explained that the other ‘became a people pleaser, suppressed their real feelings, absorbed everyone’s emotions and became withdrawn.’
‘I cried a lot,’ the mom admitted. ‘I had tried so hard to do everything right… to do things different from what I had growing up.’
Williams then realized she wasn’t ‘gentle parenting’ – she was instead ‘permissive parenting.’
‘A lot of parents do this, there’s no shame or guilt allowed here, parenting is hard,’ she wrote.
Williams explained she overindulged her children, leading them to think everything was negotiable and they had no real limits.
Instead, the mom has now switched to ‘authoritative parenting,’ which involves forming a connection and creating clear boundaries.
There are four main parenting styles: neglectful, authoritarian, permissive and authoritative.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, the goal of gentle parenting is to raise confident and independent children by setting healthy boundaries.
Traditional parenting focuses more on punishment and reward, whereas gentle parents calmly explain to their child the consequences of their behavior, rather than getting angry.
Studies have found that children raised with an authoritative parenting style were more likely to achieve academically.
Psychologists previously revealed to The Daily Mail which celebrities follow different parenting approaches – and which ones could be setting their children up for a lifetime of emotional issues.
Dr Carole Lieberman, a forensic psychiatrist from Beverly Hills, California, said that Kourtney Kardashian shows signs of ‘attachment style’ parenting.
Attachment parenting aims to secure an exceptionally close bond between mother and child.
Meanwhile, Courtney Morgan, a licensed therapist and founder of Counseling Unconditionally in Kentucky, said Kim Kardashian is one example of a permissive parent.
She said Kim ‘allows her children to cause disruption in her home and appears to have very relaxed rules or expectations.’
Morgan pointed to an episode in the most recent season of The Kardashians, during which Kim shared she wishes and could be more firm and structured like her sister Khloe.
‘It seems as though Kim is facing the challenges of raising children in a permissive household as her children are getting older.
‘One may wonder if Kim parents out of guilt due to her relationship with Kanye, her heavy workload, or something else,’ Morgan said.
‘If given the opportunity, I would encourage Kim to begin creating boundaries and expectations for her children,’ she suggested. ‘It may be hard initially, and she can expect some pushback from her children; however, it is not too late to create a household that is kind and firm at the same time.’
