Gen Z: My friend is getting married next month. It’s gonna be lit*.
Boomer: Lovely! Church ceremony, then drinks at the village hall?
Be so FR*. It’s at an Italian vineyard. Three-day weekend celebration.
Three days?! In the 80s a wedding was an hour in a ramshackle church, then however long you could stay standing up at the reception.
According to planning platform The Knot, 81 per cent of Gen Z have a multi-day wedding: the rehearsal dinner, welcome drinks, morning-after brunch…
What are you rehearsing? The Rock The Boat dance?
Vogue says it’s about curating a ‘unique, individualised set of events’. It suggests hosting a wine tasting, pool party or pickleball tournament.
The day after a wedding is for languishing in bed with the curtains drawn after taking full advantage of the free bar.
Yuck. Drunk family drama is not the aesthetic. My friend is serving adaptogenic cocktails instead.
Adaptogenic? Is that even English?
They’re drinks with functional mushrooms to boost energy. Also, couples are opting for dry weddings or a two-drink-max rule to protect their marital peace.
At my wedding, personal alcohol consumption was measured in bottles, not sips.
Well, given the average wedding costs £32,000, couples are prioritising.
£32,000?! No wonder you lot can’t afford a bloody mortgage!
And if you want your wedding to make a splash on Insta, the number one spend is on outfits.
I reckon I made quite a splash with my Diana-inspired dress. The perfect balance of princess and meringue.
Net-A-Porter says you now need a ‘wedding wardrobe’. Think welcome-party dress, rehearsal-dinner look, ceremony gown, reception dress and brunch ensemble.
Ridiculous! I didn’t even change when cousin Margaret ‘accidentally’ tipped a glass of red over me.
Then there’s the food. According to the Los Angeles Times, the biggest 2026 trends are ‘high drama’ and destination-themed bites.
So you’re off to Italy to scoff pasta bolognese. Guess the inevitable sauce spillage explains why the bride needs so many outfits…
More like live chef stations serving hand-carved meat, build-your-own pasta stations and a gelato tower.
What’s wrong with my generation’s beige heroes: beef welly or chicken kiev?
Beige doesn’t pop on socials. One influencer racked up 600,000 likes on a TikTok showing off her custom ice-cream wall. The tubs were literally monogrammed.
Isn’t showing off ‘inspo’ pictures from your own wedding a bit, you know, gauche?
Tell that to influencer Jaz Smith. She posted 60 TikToks from her wedding weekend, showing her 580,000 followers everything from her reception set up to her wedding PJs.
Sixty TikToks? In my day we had 12 awkward, flat-mounted photographs, and a jumpy, blue-tinged video filmed by a man named Derek.
SMH*. You would have been better with that photographer from The Drama. Talk about shots fired*.
That new film with Zendaya and Robert Pattinson? At least they were getting married because they loved each other.
And look how that turned out (sorry reader – no spoilers allowed).
You know what I mean. None of that performative nonsense.
As if. Even their photographer told them, ‘Weddings are by nature performative.’
Yes, but they’re meant to be a performance of how much you love your partner. How you’re going to spend forever together. Not an attempt to get a brand deal.
IMHO* the best bit of the film was them practising their first dance. Us Gen Zs do love a good boogie.
Let me guess: one of those silly TikTok dances you do to that Doja Kitten woman, instantly shared on social media.
It’s Doja Cat, Boomer. And no, according to The Times, Gen Z are ‘dancing wedding nights away to the same songs as their parents’.
Like?
I’m A Believer and Young Hearts Run Free are in the most-played top ten.
I reckon Bon Jovi’s a better fit for your generation: You Give Love A Bad Name!
*Lit = Amazing.
*FR = For real.
*SMH = Shake my head.
*Shots fired = When a bold or derisive statement is made.
*IMHO = In my humble opinion
