I lost 100lbs but then my wife’s shock confession nearly destroyed me

Andrew Hulbert was thrilled when he lost 125lbs. 

After eight months on a punishing diet, the father-of-two was no longer worried about dying young and could finally run around with his children.

But his weight loss created a whole new problem he hadn’t expected.

‘My wife told me that she didn’t find me attractive,’ he told the Daily Mail.

‘There was some concern that I had gone too far. I just looked too skinny, my skin was going gray.’

So Hulbert, then 37, who had gone from 335 to 210lbs, decided to regain 25lbs in an effort to balance being healthy while also saving his marriage.

Now 39 years old, Hulbert is one of a growing number of people who say dramatic weight loss comes with unexpected downsides no one warns you about.

Across the US, and amid the advent of GLP-1s like Ozempic and Mounjaro, thousands have been posting glossy before-and-after photos of their new, slim figures on social media. The posts are often flooded with hundreds of comments praising their appearance.

But the Daily Mail has spoken to three people who have lost more than 100lbs and have revealed that the transformation isn’t all positive.

The health benefits of losing weight, for obese and overweight individuals, are well-founded. 

Doctors say it lowers the risk of numerous health effects, such as heart disease and high blood pressure, while people who lose significant amounts of weight say they have more energy and now take part in events or activities they would have previously avoided.

But some say they were never prepared for the psychological toll – and the constant pressure to stay thin – that losing weight would have on them. 

All three people who Daily Mail spoke to said they were thrilled with their weight loss and would not go back, although they did want to warn others of unexpected drawbacks.

It can feel lonely and doesn’t bring instant happiness

Jesse Ramos Jr has lost 96lbs, dropping from 256 to 160lbs.

The California native did it the old-fashioned way, using exercise, jogging and weight lifting for 30 minutes a day, as well as diet changes – swapping burgers and fries for chicken breasts.

Ramos was elated by his success, which led him to move to New York City and become a personal trainer working to help others lose weight.

But he was surprised when he noticed how some people were reacting.

‘What’s just a little disheartening is it can make others uncomfortable, when you tell them you lost a lot of weight,’ he told the Daily Mail.

‘I noticed that when I lost 90lbs, or told people that I lost 90lbs, they would immediately go and scan my stomach. They look directly at my stomach.

‘It is quite uncomfortable.

‘I have gotten used to it now, but it makes you feel as if people don’t see you for your character, but rather for your body. That can feel lonely.

‘When you lose weight, it doesn’t solve all your problems,’ he added. ‘It doesn’t bring instant happiness right away.’

There is constant pressure to stay thin

Now that Ramos has lost the weight, he told the Daily Mail there is a lot of pressure to stay thin and in shape, stating that he still closely monitors his diet. 

Hulbert, who lost weight in 2023 and has now kept it off for three years, said that anytime the scales creep up, he instantly feels like a failure.

‘When you’ve done such massive weight loss, and you do put some weight back on, the challenge you then fall into is: If you got down to a medium from a triple XL or whatever, then it doesn’t fit and you go to large, there is a feeling that this is catastrophic,’ he told Daily Mail. 

‘You should generally eat something without fear that you are going to put 50lbs back on. But, in this case, you start to sort of, you know, be in your own head, and really start to manage what you are eating.’ 

Hulbert said he is now constantly planning his weight ahead of events and vacations.

When he spoke to the Daily Mail, he was on vacation in the UK. He said he had lost 14lbs before the trip to enable him to do and eat what he liked while away, without having to worry about the number on the scales.

He lost the weight on a 1,000-calories-per-day diet, where he also avoided caffeine and alcohol. However, that is an unhealthily low amount of calories. 

According to the Food and Drug Administration, men should consume 2,000 to 3,000 calories per day depending on age, height and activity level, while women should eat 1,600 to 2,000 calories per day.

It’s hard to maintain a new weight in your old lifestyle

Jenn Erskine used to crave food so much that she would order enough ice cream for a family-of-four, before going home and eating it all herself.

By 33 years old, the Florida native was 546lbs, and struggled to walk between rooms or even get up from chairs.

She got weight loss surgery in 2022, and has since lost 370lbs in three years, equivalent to about 2.4lbs a week. 

Now 36 years old and 175lbs, Erskine said she feels like a completely new person and has been able to do all the things she wanted to but couldn’t, like zip-lining and roller blading.

But the primary school teacher also said it has been a challenge to stick to her new diet – especially while working around children.

‘It isn’t a regret, but now sweets are something I have to constantly think about,’ she told the Daily Mail.

‘I used to be a big sweets person – like sugary sweets, ice cream, cakes and cookies – and it was really hard at first to give them up. I wanted them at birthdays, dinners or even just to manage my emotions.

‘Now, working with kids, sweets are everywhere, so I have to keep being careful not to eat them.’

She said she had been challenged recently when a student gave her a cookie. ‘I smiled at her and took it, but couldn’t eat it because of my diet,’ Erskine said.

Instead of sweet treats, Erskine told the Daily Mail she makes her own protein bars using oats, chia seeds and sugar-free chocolate to quench her sweet tooth.

Erskine added that she also has 30lbs of loose skin, that she will soon have removed. During the course of her rapid weight loss, she also said she had to keep buying a new wardrobe, as clothes continued to be too big.

These days, she takes care to always look out for larger individuals.

‘People are treating me different now,’ she told the Daily Mail. ‘Before, they wouldn’t hold doors open for me or let me cross the road. I was more like a bother. Now, I always make sure to try to help people who are bigger.’