Game Of Thrones star Hannah Murray has shed further light on her time spent in a ‘wellness cult’, in which she suffered a psychotic break.
The actress, 36, has spoken candidly about escaping the cult, the name of which she has chosen to keep anonymous, after mental health issues led to her being recruited with an array of expensive inductions by fellow members.
Speaking to The i Newspaper, Hannah, who played Gilly on the hit HBO fantasy series, divulged shocking details of her time in the cult, which she relays in her upcoming book titled The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness.
Hannah revealed she became so enchanted by the cult that she went as far as drinking her own urine and acquiring a wand.
She has previously explained how being introduced to an ‘energy healer,’ whom she refers to as Grace, through her personal trainer while filming 2017 film Detroit, led to her being lured into expensive classes and therapies.
Game Of Thrones star Hannah Murray has shed further light on her time spent in a ‘wellness cult’, in which she suffered a psychotic break (pictured in 2019)
After suffering a psychotic break, she managed to escape the grasps of the leader – who she reveals made her fear the organisation was ‘a sex cult’ – yet has sworn off therapy as: ‘Wellness culture is causing things it’s meant to cure’.
Hannah has spoken at length about her experiences in the cult, where she was induced by discussing a variety of topics including shamanic and Kabbalistic rituals, salt baths, magic circles as well as higher selves.
Her latest interview sheds light on the magical element of the courses, as she revealed devotees received wands – pieces of dark wood with a clear quartz crystal on one end – and were told they were on the way to becoming magicians.
She explained that the cult leader – whom she refers to as Steve – became akin to a magician in her eyes: ‘He is a magician. He is my King. My God. God the father. He is my father. And he is my great, great, great, great love.’
Discussing first meeting the leader, she said: ‘I wanted to f**k Steve, more than I had ever wanted to f**k anyone’, before revealing she heard his voice in her head.
Hannah was then locked in a psychiatric ward, where she believed she was Jesus and had died and been reborn while refusing to eat, in echoes of her years of disordered eating, before she would urinate in a cup and drink her urine.
The actress, 36, has spoken candidly about escaping the cult, the name of which she has chosen to keep anonymous, after mental health issues led to her being recruited with an array of expensive inductions by fellow members
On her beliefs, she said she believed: ‘I am a ritual master. And this, drinking my own urine, is a powerful ritual. This is all I need now to survive.’
Things began to come into perspective for Hannah when during a course at a London hotel, she recalled her behaviour becoming more manic and erratic. She remembered suffering pain in her head, that felt like she was ‘giving birth through my skull.’
She went to a bathroom stall and was soon surrounded by other members who chanted at her, saying, ‘Be gone, evil spirit in Hannah.’
And despite what she had been going through at the time, the star admitted a part of her knew it was ‘f***ing hilarious.’
A friend eventually called for help and Hannah was admitted into a hospital for 28 days under the Mental Health Act. She also received her bipolar disorder diagnosis which she revealed had been a ‘relief.’
Since escaping the cult, Hannah admits she has seen that therapy is unhealthy.
When asked if she is still in therapy, she said: ‘No. I think therapy can sometimes be positioned as that kind of panacea as well. A lot of the things that feel helpful to me are things that don’t rely on another person’s guidance or wisdom…
‘Things that keep me stable are things like exercise, going for a walk, cooking. Wellness culture might be causing some of the problems it claims to be able to cure’.
