The greatest city in the world is one step closer to electing a radical, anti-Israel socialist – and it’s scaring the knishes out of me.
Armed with a decade of horrible takes and very thinly veiled anti-Semitism, 33-year-old dimpled pinko Zohran Mamdani bested handsy former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo in Tuesday’s Democratic mayoral primary.
Sure, Democrats didn’t have much of a choice. It was either a disgraced accused groper or a Bernie Sanders-adjacent state assembly member with a resume shorter than Lauren Sanchez’s hem. But, hey, at least Dems got to vote this time (right, Kamala?).
Though I won’t blow off the threat of Comrade Mamdani so easily. He cleverly used glossy social media posts to sell a slightly warmed-over version of stale statism to starry-eyed millennials and Gen Z’ers who gobbled it up by the handful.
He promised everything that a spoiled hipster heart desires: no fare bus rides; rent freezes; subsidized city-owned grocery stores; universal childcare and free ironic tattoos. (I made that last one up).
This naïve generation of nincompoops doesn’t yet realize (give it time) that ‘free’ programs don’t pay for themselves – and the millionaires who Mamdani will have to tax into oblivion to bankroll his giveaways can pack and move away to say… low-tax Palm Beach, Florida.
What else has Mamdani’s millennial brain cooked up?
He’s for ‘defund the police.’ TikTok-educated imbeciles who backed this boob must be too young to remember how terrifying the city became during the Mayor Bill DeBlasio era.
DeBozo breezed into office in 2013 promising gratis rainbows and unicorns and the decriminalization of public drinking, urination, littering and a whole host of other undesirable activities. Turns out the rainbows and sparkly flying horses never materialized, but junkies and feces in the streets sure did. New York has been in recovery ever since.
Finally – and most existentially terrifying of all – Mamdani’s promises come with a disturbing dose of super-charged anti-Israel politics that veer dangerously close to outright antisemitism.
For years, this Ugandan-born whipper snapper has badgered every institution that he’s been a part of – from his small liberal arts college in Maine to the New York State Assembly – to ‘BDS’ Israel. But BDS is not some hot new Facetuned K-Pop boy band. It stands for the far-left Boycott, Divest and Sanction movement, which seeks to starve Israel of investment and bleed the Jewish state out of existence.
‘When someone spends years relentlessly targeting the world’s only Jewish state through legislation, boycotts and protests — while remaining silent on the abuses of regimes like Iran, China or Russia —it’s not principled criticism, it’s antisemitism, plain and simple,’ said Sam Berger, a Democratic Jewish state lawmaker from Queens.
Then in a podcast interview on Sunday, Mamdani claimed the phrase ‘globalize the intifada’ isn’t a call for violence but an expression of a desire for Palestinian ‘equality and human rights.’
Tell that to the families of the young couple gunned down by a left-wing extremist shouting ‘Free, Free Palestine’ outside the Jewish Museum in Washington DC in May. Or the peaceful marchers in Boulder, Colorado, who were set on fire earlier this month by an illegal immigrant from Egypt. He was also screaming ‘Free Palestine’.
Mamdani knows damn well what ‘globalize the intifada’ means, but for those who would still give Mamdani the benefit of the doubt (which seems suicidal at this point), remember that he sent out a press release following the October 7 attacks condemning Israel for their ‘apartheid’ and without mentioning Hamas.
So, here’s my message to those pulling the lever for Zohran the Fraud.
If you’d vote for an unqualified, Israel-hating blowhard just because you can’t afford to live in New York City – move across the river to Hoboken, New Jersey, you self-centered crybaby!
Reality alert: New York City is expensive, but you don’t have to live there.
Don’t you all exist in cyberspace anyway? You can work-from-home and play Call of Duty in your underpants from a cabin in the Ozarks. You don’t need to be in a loft in Soho to be a waste of space.
On a lighter note, I ran into Curtis Sliwa, founder of the Guardian Angels and perennial NYC mayoral candidate, and his little red hat today. He’s fresh off his victory in the Republican primary and he promised to reach out to the ‘kids.’
At this point, I’d take Crazy Curtis over Mega-Commie Mamdani any day.
MAGA mommy
Speaking of disgraces… former Congressman-turned-news anchor Matt Gaetz was recently on a flight and blabbing via text with his mom when a nosy fellow passenger filmed it all and posted the embarrassing video to TikTok.
Turns out Mommy Dearest is MAGA – and she was scolding her son for breaking from President Donald Trump over the Iran strikes: ‘The president has been a very good friend to you. He hates betrayal. Be smart, not stubborn.’
‘Your days in Congress are over, ‘ she continued, lamenting her boy’s cratering professional prospects. ‘Let’s not mess up the media gig… How many times do you want to hit the wall?’
I wonder what Mom had to say about the underage prostitutes. (Gaetz denied the claims.)
Alligator Alcatraz
There was a humanitarian uproar on Monday after the federal government greenlighted the building of an immigrant detention center, composed of trailers and ‘heavy tents’ and constructed on an air strip deep in the Florida Everglades that is surrounded by alligators and pythons.
To which Sunshine State residents said, ‘What’s the big deal. That’s called living in Florida.’
Pucker up
Hetero Hollywood vixen Scarlett Johansson broke her silence Wednesday after making headlines for planting a pair of lusty smooches on her handsome, gay co-star Jonathan Bailey at the Jurassic World Rebirth premiere last week.
‘We’re just friendly people… Yeah, I’ve got a lot of love to give,’ said ScarJo on the Today show.
I wonder if her funnyman husband, SNL comedian Colin Jost, greets Jonathan the same way or if he prefers a firm handshake.
Foamy frolics
Who knows what’s going on with space cadet Katy Perry and her sexy Legolas Orlando Bloom, but the elfish actor is reportedly showing up stag to the Bezos/Sanchez wedding in Venice this week.
If I were Perry, I’d come back down to Earth to keep a close watch on Sanchez’s cougariffic gal pals.
I wouldn’t trust any of them in a foam pit with that hunk.
Saggy Harbor
You know who’s not macking it this tonsil-hockey season? Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell.
Coming off a successful one-woman show, the 66-year-old former doyenne of high-class hook-ups confessed that the Boomer market for casual sex is a big bust.
Bushnell recently relocated to Long Island’s ritzy Sag Harbor, which might be part of the problem.
She may as well have moved to Jiggly Jowls Junction or Cottage Cheese Cottages.
