In theory, none of us ever look at our partner’s phone. That’s their business right? Until real life hits, you see your other half smiling and giggling at someone’s texts or being secretive with their device, and think: ‘I need to take a peek or else I’m going to go mad.’
But in truth, it’s not always easy to know (or decipher) whether your partner is innocently texting someone or having a full-blown affair. Because thanks to social media (literally, everything is social media’s fault) there’s a whole new language people are using to keep their messages a secret.
According to Paul Jones, a private detective from ARF Private Investigators, cheaters are using a special emoji code to keep their messages a secret. And to help out the blissfully ignorant among us, he’s created a list of the sneaky emoticons to look out for, and broken down what they could actually mean.
The emojis that may indicate your partner is cheating
Coffee cup ☕
The coffee cup is being used as shorthand for ‘let’s meet’. It doesn’t necessarily mean meet for coffee.
Moon 🌙
The moon emoji is being used to indicate that someone can’t talk right now, but can talk later in the night.
Car 🚗
This can be used to convey that someone is on their way or that they want to meet somewhere private.
Window 🪟
The window emoji is accompanied by two numbers. This tells the other person they have a window to talk between 6 and 8.
Soap 🧼
The soap emoji is being used to tell the other person to be careful that their partner is suspecting something, and they should delete their messages or clean them up.
Ruler 📏
Another emoji used when someone suspects something is amiss, the ruler emoji is used to say ‘keep the story straight’ or ‘stick to the story we agreed on’.
Fire extinguisher 🧯
The fire extinguisher is used when one cheater is telling another to calm things down. Maybe they are telling them to calm down, and no one suspects a thing, or to calm down and stop blowing their phone up right now.
Broom 🧹
Once again, this is an emoji used to say to clean everything up, delete the chats you have had, or remove my number for now.
How do you use emojis to catch cheaters?
‘Cheaters are rarely careless,’ Jones warns. ‘I’ve spent years catching them, and they are continually finding new ways of outsmarting their partners and investigators like me.’ And the easiest trick in the book is simply deleting all their messages, so even if you do check their phone there’s nothing to find.
However, Jones says, what lots of cheaters don’t realise is that there’s a giveaway even after they’ve cleared all communication. That’s because your phone actually stores the emojis you most commonly use, and serves them at the top of your ‘emoji keyboard’.
‘I’m not saying to snoop,’ he explains, ‘but if you get a chance to use your partner’s phone, then click on the emoji keyboard and have a look at their recent emoji usage. What emojis are in there? Are there sexually charged ones like 🍆, 🍑, 💦, 👅, 💋, 🔥, 🥵? Does your partner send these to you? Because if not, that’s a huge red flag.’
What other behaviour should you watch out for?
Obviously the emojis above don’t for certain indicate someone is cheating. A coffee cup emoji, for example, could mean that someone is tired, heading to Starbucks or joking that they are running on empty and need caffeine to get through the day.
It’s about looking at someone’s behaviour in context. Has your partner become more emotionally distant? Are they more secretive with their phone? Has their appearance changed? Have they started to stay later at work or stay out later in general?
As Jones points out, ‘there’s rarely one sign that blows a case open and shows that someone is cheating. It’s usually a combination of many smaller signs. But if you see any of these emojis being used with numbers you don’t know, then it’s worth investigating.’
