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Can you divorce your parents? What happens if splits can’t be mended

Family rows often turn ugly and revolve around money. Such disputes sometimes tear families apart across the generations. 

Couples can divorce and formally divide their finances and other assets, but can parents legally cut off their children or vice versa?

Miranda Fisher is a partner and head of international family law and Hannah Owen is a senior associate and specialist family lawyer at law firm Charles Russell Speechlys.

There are frequent media reports of celebrity children cutting ties with their parents, often overseas.

As family lawyers that led us to consider the question of whether a child – either a minor child or an adult – can legally divorce their parents?

The short answer is no.

The severing of a legal familial relationship is not part of the framework of English law, save in instances of adoption.

This is the case when looking at whether a child can divorce their parents, and also when looking at whether a parent can divorce their child.

English law does not recognise emancipation.

Miranda Fisher, left, and Hannah Owen, right, explain what happens when relationships between parents and children break down

Miranda Fisher, left, and Hannah Owen, right, explain what happens when relationships between parents and children break down

Except where a child is adopted, parents otherwise retain legal responsibility for their children, and this is most commonly exercised through what is known as ‘parental responsibility’.

It is however possible to be a legal parent and not have parental responsibility.

For example, an unmarried father might not be named on a child’s birth certificate, or there might be circumstances where the court may have limited or removed parental responsibility, most commonly in cases where there has been abuse.

Adults can break family ties

As an adult, meaning once someone reaches the age of 18, a child may take practical steps to cut ties with their parents even if the legal relationship cannot be extinguished.

As above, there is no formal legal process to do this. This can be done in a variety of practical ways, including:

– By moving away and cutting all contact. There is no legal obligation for adult children, or parents of adult children, to remain in contact with each other.

– Legally changing your name or surname via deed poll.

– Ensuring you have a will in place governing your financial affairs, otherwise your parents may inherit your estate under the intestacy rules if you die without a will, and if you have no children and are unmarried.

What about children who need protection

For minor children, those under 18, the position is more complicated. If the familial relationship breaks down, then a lot will depend on the age of the child.

If a child is young and their parents are not capable of looking after them or there has been abuse or there are welfare concerns, social services (acting on behalf of the local authority) may intervene.

If the situation is extreme, social services might apply for protective orders in respect of the child or even place the child for adoption if it is not appropriate for them to be placed with family.

It may also be possible to get orders in place to prohibit contact between a child and their parent. This may be applied for by the child, who has first obtained permission of the court to make the application, or another adult.

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Another option, which again does not extinguish a child’s legal relationship with their parents, is for a special guardianship order to be made.

The special guardianship order does not sever the legal familial relationship between parent and child, but means someone other than the child’s parents has ‘super’ parental responsibility for them and can exercise it to the exclusion of others with parental responsibility – although for major life decisions the parents or others with parental responsibility should still be consulted.

A special guardianship order can often be made in cases where the parent(s) are mentally unwell or there are substance abuse issues or there has been abuse which means the parents are unable to look after their children.

This does not extinguish a parent’s duty to financially maintain their child. To apply for such an order in respect of a child, the applicant needs to be over the age of 18 and not the parent of the child.

There also needs to be an established connection between the applicant and the child – they could already be a guardian of the child, there could be a court order specifying that the child is to live with them, and they could be a local authority foster parent or a relative with whom the child has lived for one year preceding the application.

If there is no connection, permission of the court is required to make the application.

If a child is young, social services can intervene, and  in extreme circumstances apply for protective orders

If a child is young, social services can intervene, and  in extreme circumstances apply for protective orders

Where do parents stand

There is an interesting question in reverse, about whether a parent can divorce their child.

Again, the simple answer is no. And a parent of a child will continue to have obligations to financially maintain their child regardless of whether or not they have a relationship with them.

If a parent does not financially maintain their child, they can be compelled to do so via the Child Maintenance Service, or where a parent’s income is over £156,000 or the parent or child is living abroad, via a court order.

Financial orders for children relating to school fees, university fees, housing provision and other expenses can also be made by the English court either under the Matrimonial Causes Act if the parents are married and divorcing or under Schedule 1 of the Children Act if the parents are unmarried.

In addition, parents with parental responsibility (and this can be acquired in different ways) have a duty to provide a home for a child and protect them.

However, it is not possible to compel a parent to spend time with their child if they do not wish to.

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