It’s funny how times change.
As a teenager – young and desperate to fit in – the pressure was all about puffing on Marlboro Lights, downing sugary alcopops and taking ecstasy.
It was the 1990s, it was London – enough said. Fitting in back then meant, quite literally, poisoning ourselves.
Now I’m 50, living in Melbourne, and society seems to have swung completely the other way. I’ve never felt more pressure in my life to succumb to the two Ps to be cool: protein and peptides.
Gone are the days of dancing in nightclubs – now it’s all about chasing longevity. Different vice, same relentless pressure.
Honestly, I’m not sure which is worse, but at least those late nights were fun.
Protein? Fine. I try to add it to every meal, but the pressure to eat more protein makes the simple act of eating a guilt-ridden, anxiety-inducing ordeal. The joy of a bowl of pasta is gone, replaced by a minor panic over which protein I should add on top, and whether I have included enough of it.
But at least chicken and steak are familiar enough. The hype surrounding the other 2026 health obsession – peptides – is out of control.
Daily Mail columnist Amanda Goff says the peptide bubble might be about to burst
Two of the loudest voices in the peptide scene Down Under are the insufferable poser Jono Castano, pictured, and his ex-wife and business partner Amy Castan
The insufferable ‘celebrity’ gym owner Jono (pictured in an AI-generated image from his social media) is one of many loud voices in the peptide space in Australia
In Australia, most peptides are either prescription-only or unapproved, meaning they cannot technically be advertised to the public. Yet across social media, influencers are openly discussing their experiences. Often, they rely on careful language that stops just short of promotion now that regulators are warning of hefty fines.
Two of the loudest voices in the peptide scene Down Under are the insufferable poser Jono Castano and his ex-wife and business partner Amy Castano.
Peptide chatter is everywhere on their Instagrams, with Jono acting like anyone who dismisses them out of hand is just a hater. Please.
Then there are the bro podcasts, featuring perfectly groomed, waxy-skinned entrepreneurs claiming they’ve ‘biohacked’ their way to perfection – debatable, of course – while the rest of us feel triumphant for simply eating an orange.
Honestly, if I see or hear one more person banging on about peptides, I might scream.
And this is where things get murky. We’re bombarded with information about peptides, yet in Australia they remain confusingly regulated and difficult to access – and most of us can barely keep up.
To name just a few, there’s GLP-1 (Ozempic); HGH (human growth hormone); the so-called ‘Barbie’ tanning drug Melanotan II; and Retatrutide, the latest influencer fad that’s described as ‘exercise in a jab’.
There are so many more: G this, G that. It’s like alphabet soup, and I can’t keep up.
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But here’s the thing I’m hearing: some people who once swore by these needles are quietly ditching them.
One girlfriend admitted to me recently that she didn’t know why she was on peptides, and didn’t even know which ones she was taking.
‘Someone told me they would make me feel better so I just started.’
Did they make her feel ‘better’?
‘I don’t know,’ was her answer. ‘But they’re expensive.’
Among the brunches and Pilates classes of Sydney’s eastern suburbs, the quiet chatter is no longer about which jab you’re on – but who’s had enough and is giving them up.
Another friend’s beautiful jet-black hair fell out in clumps when she started using a weight-loss peptide. Another ended up in hospital.
Both women are in their 40s, feeling the relentless pressure to look young, feel young, and chase a 21-year-old body.
And we all know why: social media is flooded with Bali-based fitness influencers promising miracles via injections – often unregulated and rarely well-monitored.
Yes, it seems like the peptide bubble might be about to well and truly burst.
The side effects can be dangerous, ranging from pain and nausea, to diabetes and even organ failure. Some peptides stimulate pathways that can accelerate the growth of existing tumours or cancer cells, and the hypochondriac in me doesn’t need another reason to worry about a terminal illness…
Even my fitness-obsessed, forward-thinking GP – who’s kept me alive for nearly 25 years – admitted that peptides are simply ‘too much of a risk’ right now.
And here’s the strangest thing I’ve noticed: the men and women I know who are on peptides don’t actually look any different.
They’re not younger, fitter, or noticeably ‘optimised’.
In fact, they look remarkably similar to your average clean-eating, gym-going, Pilates princess mums you see every day. Obviously, I don’t have access to their blood test results, but it does make me wonder: what are they actually paying for?
So, are we on the verge of a peptide backlash?
The hype is everywhere, pushed even harder than protein, and fuelled by fitness influencers (Pictured: Amy Castano in a social media post about peptides)
In 10 years, will we be reading horror stories of women who injected unapproved, unregulated substances, all because some perma-tanned influencer promised youth, endless energy and a tiny waist?
Will we start hearing about heart damage, organ failure, hormonal chaos and God-knows-what-else from jabs that were never properly monitored in the first place?
I’m not suggesting it’s inevitable, nor am I saying all peptides are dangerous. I know women who inject them, and for some, it seems to work. Let’s be clear – I’m no purist either. I’m well-acquainted with Botox, surgery and silicone myself.
But here’s the thing about biohacking, and my newsflash for the embalmed entrepreneurs preaching eternal youth from their podcast thrones: we are all going to die anyway.
Rather than spending all our cash chasing perfection in a syringe, let’s try something even more radical: living.
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