For years, my fitness coach husband Mat nagged me to try weights, promising they would completely change my body – my metabolism, strength, muscle tone and even my bone health. I ignored him. To be honest, I found the weights section of the gym intimidating and full of buff men. Like a lot of women, I was worried I’d get bigger.
Then, two years ago, as a 45-year-old mum of three, in perimenopause, I found my weight slowly creeping up by three stone, until I was just under 13 stone and nudging a size 16. I was active: I would run, and do boot camps with friends and high-intensity interval training, but then I’d finish a session starving and snack on sugary cereal and biscuits.
The turning point came in August 2024, when myself; Mat, 46; and our kids, Jessie, 18; Leo, 16; and Scarlett, 12, were on holiday in Portugal. We were playing bat and ball on the beach and I couldn’t wait to sit down and hide on my sunbed. I was so ashamed of my body, I felt really self-conscious. When I look at the photos of that holiday, I am in the back of all of them, hiding behind my children.
Shortly afterwards, Mat and I went to the Maldives for our anniversary, just the two of us. It was our first holiday alone since our children were born. I went to the hotel gym with him every day and began to get confident on the weight machines.
I liked how I started to feel strong, so I continued to do weights when we got home and joined his coaching group. For the first time, I wasn’t just exercising, I was training with a plan and eating to specific targets each day on protein, carbohydrates and fats.
The weight started flying off. One month later, I noticed a difference, and after two months so did other people. After just over a year, I’m three stone down and a size eight to ten. For the first time since I was 20 I’m happy to get my arms out, too.
I used to hide my body in hoodies and workout clothes, but now I can wear trendy, tight-fit, sleeveless tops. I feel so confident – it has been absolutely life-changing.
Here’s how I did it – and how you can, too…
Have a coach, not just a personal trainer
I used to have personal trainers, but you notice a real difference when you have a fitness coach. You see your trainer once a week, then you’re left to it; with a coach, they check in daily to see if you’ve done what you said you would. It’s a game-changer. Luckily, I am married to a fitness coach and Mat created a tailored weight-training plan for me through an app his clients use called Everfit, which shows me what to do. I’m also in a WhatsApp group with his other clients and we support and encourage each other with our goals.
I toned my arms
I got my arms into shape by lifting as many heavy weights as I could in the gym. Starting with a warm-up set, I’ll do three sets with the heaviest weight I can lift. If the last set is a struggle, it’s making a difference.
What I eat every day
I keep track of my macros (macronutrients) – protein, carbohydrates and fat – across the day. Mat sets specific targets and I log everything in MyFitnessPal, which syncs with his app, so he can see my progress.
The first couple of weeks were a big learning curve, but you’d be surprised at how much food you can eat. My average day is a protein yoghurt with berries and banana for breakfast; lunch of two boiled eggs on a bagel with half an avocado and tomatoes; followed by fish or steak and rice for dinner.
You can eat carbs, which was a big mindset shift for me, because I feared them for years. I also use Bio-Synergy protein powder, either as a shake in the afternoon, if I’m low on protein, or mixed in my yoghurt for breakfast. When you’re trying to learn what you can eat in a day, ChatGPT is a huge help. I can put in my remaining macro targets for the day and ask what else I can eat to hit them and it lists simple ideas. It takes the guesswork out of it.
Be consistent
It’s very important to be consistent with exercise. I weight-train four times a week. I also do an incline walk twice a week on the treadmill, or take the dogs for a walk at a speed which still lets me hold a conversation. I make sure to get a minimum of 10,000 steps in every day. I even bought a walking pad – a more basic and compact treadmill that can fit under a desk.
Face your gym fears
For years I was intimidated by the weights section in the gym, but you soon realise no one is paying attention to you. Plus, all the big, buff men in there are usually the most helpful! Now I love it – your body starts to change and get stronger and you feel so good, you don’t want to stop.
You can still indulge
I still like to socialise and have a couple of drinks at the weekend. I’m just mindful of what I have in the day if I know I’m going out in the evening. I don’t worry about letting go, because I can maintain it: I have a girls’ holiday coming up and we will be lying around the pool, eating crisps and drinking cocktails. I’ll gain a few pounds, but as soon as I come back and start going to the gym, the weight will fall off.
Hit three goals every day
My targets are meeting my daily macro goal, training and getting my steps in. Do these every day and it just works. If it feels hard, just think about where you could be a year from now. You see huge changes in a few months, not only in your body, but in your energy and mind. Go and lift – you will feel amazing.
Follow Mat Finn on @flexfit.coaching and Cassie on @harmony_beauty_bycas on Instagram
As told to Kerry Parnell
