Brave wife speaks out about marriage taboo women dread discussing

When Talia Koren told her boyfriend of just three months she had something important to discuss while they were relaxing in his Bay Area apartment, he understandably looked a little concerned.  

The couple, who met online in the summer of 2022, had been discussing making their relationship a long-term commitment. 

But Koren wanted to make one thing crystal clear: if they were to get married in the future, she wanted a prenuptial agreement.

‘I said it was non-negotiable,’ the 33-year-old told the Daily Mail. ‘It wasn’t because I anticipated us getting divorced, it was about being honest about our finances. 

Prenups are a notoriously awkward topic for couples embarking on marriage. But increasing numbers view them as a sensible precaution in a world where divorce is ever more common.

Just this month Kelly Stafford, 36, wife of Los Angeles Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford, made headlines after opening up about the prenup she signed before their wedding 10 years ago.

Speaking on her podcast, the mother of four admitted she was initially reluctant to sign the legal documents — thinking it was almost as if they were already planning a split — but came around to the idea.

‘I had to look at the other direction and say, “Well, if we never get divorced, we’ll never need it anyway.” So why wouldn’t I?’ she said.

Stafford did not go into the terms of the agreement with her husband, who recently signed a $84million contract with the Rams — taking his career earnings in the NFL to over $360million — but said they were ‘generous’ and ‘fair.’

Yet prenups are no longer just for the rich and famous. Some 15 per cent of American couples who were married or engaged signed an agreement, according to a 2022 Harris survey. This compares to just 3 percent in 2010.

Kelly Chang Rickert, a Los Angeles–based family law attorney who specializes in prenups, credited the increase to the fact that people are only too aware marriages can easily collapse.

Around 40 per cent of first marriages and 65 per cent of second and subsequent marriages end in divorce, according to the American Psychological Association.

Chang Rickert said that pop culture had also raised awareness of the existence of prenups as a smart and acceptable move. Celebrities such as Kim Kardashian and her sister, Khloe, have spoken freely about obtaining them.

Of course there are limits – and across her career Chang Rickert has seen her share of ‘ridiculous’ and, she says, ‘unenforceable’ clauses. 

She said: ‘I’ve seen a prenup where the man mandated that the woman needed to find him a “replacement spouse of equal beauty as her” if they divorce. It was totally unenforceable.’

Meanwhile James Sexton, a lawyer based in New York, recently told the Daily Mail that he had seen stipulations such as the wife having to stay within a certain weight range and square footage requirements for future homes.

Safe to say, the terms hammered out between Koren and her husband-to-be were far more prosaic, and their negotiations were grounded in a mutual desire to safeguard their financial futures in the event of a split.

During her own frank conversation with her partner John, now 35, Koren brought up the fact that their parents had divorced. Her mother and father’s divorce had dragged on for five years, mostly due to financial complications.

John, whom Koren said was an easy-going person and not the least bit offended by her suggestion, agreed that if the worst came to the worst for them, history would not repeat itself. Instead, should a breakup happen, it would be much more amicable and equitable.

He proposed in January 2024, and, two months later, they each decided on a lawyer — the law in California dictates that their attorneys have to be separate — to formulate the terms of the prenup. 

Koren said that they only got it finalized around two weeks before their wedding in September 2024 after not anticipating a lengthy back and forth with the lawyers.

Some of their conversations — which sometimes took place over coffee at their local café — were initially ‘awkward’. 

For example, neither was keen on the blunt word ‘termination’ used by lawyers to refer the breakdown of their marriage. 

‘I know people might think it unromantic to discuss finances in such detail, but we felt that our honesty brought us closer together,’ she said.

She explained how it helped them realize the weight of their commitment and gave it greater significance.

‘Marriage is not just about love, romance, the wedding or the rings,’ Koren, who runs the on-line consultancy company Dating Intentionally, said. ‘It’s also about how you’re being tied together legally.’

With the help of their lawyers, the couple agreed that, if they had children — which they hope to do within the next couple of years — Koren would be the primary care giver during the kids’ early years.

Since this would inevitably cause a dent in her earnings, they decided Koren would receive a certain portion of John’s income in his job as a NASA researcher.

In the event of a divorce, the couple — who have separate bank accounts plus a joint account for rent, utility bills, food and other shared expenses — would keep the savings and other assets that each of them owned at the start of the marriage.

If they inherited money from relatives, the entirety would go to the recipient. They would not be responsible for each other’s debt but, if they stopped renting as they do now and bought a house, the proceeds would be divided 50/50.

Another clause in the agreement covers the custody of their dog, Coconut. The terrier mix would go to Koren because she had originally saved the pet from a rescue.

Koren said the total cost of the prenup, finalized shortly before their wedding in September 2024, was around $5,000 – but it was an investment, she said, which was well worth it.

‘It’s just like paying for health insurance in case you have a big medical bill because a prenup safeguards what might happen in the future,’ she said.

She said their friends had raised eyebrows about the situation. None of her married friends – which make up half of her friendship group – had a prenup as far as she knew. But she assured them it didn’t mean they weren’t optimistic about their union

‘We love each other and feel extremely confident in our marriage,’ Koren said, ‘But we also know that we will evolve and grow, and we’re going to do our very best to grow together.’ 

She even told some some of her engaged friends that, though she wasn’t a lawyer herself and didn’t know their individual circumstances, a prenup was worth considering.

Chang Rickert told the Daily Mail that prenups help make divorces more straightforward with less acrimony. ‘You get to decide the way things are divided instead of leaving your future to the laws in your particular state,’ she said.

‘But hopefully, once you’ve drawn up a prenup, you will never have to look at it again because you will live happily ever after.’

She said prenups were especially important in second marriages, particularly if you have children. You might want to protect your assets from your new husband or wife to ensure they go to the kids from your earlier marriage.

As for the most common stipulations, they include the amount of alimony one spouse pays to the other in the event of a divorce. 

Today Koren is clear: having frank discussions about finances before getting married is a sign of a promising relationship.

‘If you can talk freely about something that many people would find difficult to approach, it shows mutual understanding,’ she said.