Jesy Nelson has revealed how Gary Barlow left her feeling ‘mortified’ and ’embarrassed’ after he ‘tore her to s***’ during her X Factor audition.
The former Little Mix star, 34, reflected on the moment Gary, 55, branded her performance ‘generic’ and said it ‘lacked individuality’ in the debut episode of her new Prime Video show.
Jesy was just 20 years old when she auditioned for the ITV talent show with her rendition of Jazmine Sullivan’s Bust Your Windows and admitted that, in the absence of Simon Cowell on the judging panel, she was desperate to impress the Take That frontman.
However, her hopes were dashed when Gary failed to put her through to the next round, despite praise from fellow judges Louis Walsh, Tulisa and Kelly Rowland.
Recalling the experience, Jesy said: ‘From that minute that he tore me to s*** I just wanted to walk off stage, I didn’t care what anyone else had to say. I was just mortified and all I kept thinking was, I can’t believe all my friends are going to see this, I’m so embarrassed.’
The singer went on to explain that, despite receiving positive feedback from the other judges, she was unable to stop crying as she left the stage, with cameras keen to capture her emotional reaction.
She added: ‘The rest of the judges all said good comments, but the one bad comment, which just sums me up, is the one that got in my head.
‘I remember coming off stage, and I was really crying, and they were literally shoving the camera in my face, saying ‘Jesy, can you just say to the camera, Gary, I’m going to prove you wrong.’
In an exclusive interview with the Daily Mail, Jesy looked back on her X Factor experience, which ultimately saw her win the competition with Little Mix in 2011.
Despite being crowned champion alongside bandmates Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Jade Thirlwall, Jesy admitted her dream of becoming a pop star did not live up to the reality.
She said: ‘I was such a fan of the X Factor and had been since I was a little girl and then obviously when you’re on the show and in it, it’s completely different.
‘Those times in my life feel so far from where I am now. They are never easy to speak about, but they’re a lot easier to speak about now than what they used to be.
‘X Factor is funny; you never knew what was real or not in terms of what you have to do for TV. They all had roles as judges and sometimes they were told what to say and sometimes they didn’t.
‘So, I don’t know if that’s how Gary truly felt about my performance, but I felt like it was. He definitely said those things with conviction.’
While Jesy has mixed memories of her time on The X Factor, after enduring horrific trolling over her appearance on the platform Twitter (now X), she credits the success of Little Mix to the band’s former mentor, Tulisa.
The ex-N-Dubz star appears in Jesy’s Prime Video documentary Life After Little Mix, where she reflects on the talent show’s heyday.
Jesy told the Daily Mail: ‘Obviously when I spoke about my X Factor journey, there was only a small amount of people who could really and truly authentically tell that story, and she was one of them.
‘It felt so right for her to be in it because she’s one of the most beautiful people I know. She really gives a s***, she’s such a down-to-earth, real, genuine person and she actually cares so much.
‘She’s been like that since day one with all of her contestants, not just Little Mix. She was a big part of the reason why we were so successful.
‘Who knows, if we had a different judge, I’m not downplaying our success, but it could have been very different if we didn’t have someone who cared so much about us.’
After admitting in her documentary that ‘social media was the downward spiral of my mental health,’ Jesy says she has finally found a healthier balance with her online fanbase.
She said: ‘I have always struggled with my relationship with social media. I have such a close bond with my fans but at the same time it can badly affect my mental health. But now since I’m a mum, I don’t have time to doom scroll anymore.’
Jesy became a mother for the first time last year to twin girls, Ocean Jade and Story Monroe Nelson-Foster, whom she shares with her ex-boyfriend, Zion.
The couple broke up four months after getting engaged, citing pressures in their relationship following their daughters’ diagnosis with SMA Type 1.
She endured a complicated pregnancy, during which she learned her daughters were monochorionic diamniotic (MCDA) identical twins and had Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS), a rare condition in which both babies share a placenta.
Months after their premature birth, Jesy was devastated to learn her daughters had SMA Type 1, a rare genetic condition that causes muscle wasting.
Jesy, who told the Daily Mail that she is taking each day as it comes, is now campaigning for all newborns to be tested for Spinal Muscular Atrophy at birth.
Early diagnosis is crucial, she explains, as a one-time infusion can significantly improve muscle development.
She said: ‘There was a point when I was told that the girls’ survival rate was next to nothing. I hate even saying it now because it makes me feel really sad.
‘I used to think what the f*** am I going to do if they’re not here and I have cameras following me – have I even really thought about this?’
Jesy described the moment the diagnosis was confirmed as world-shattering.
‘When the girls got their diagnosis, I felt like my whole world just fell apart,’ she said.
‘I felt like when they were born, my birth, me being on the antenatal ward, caring for them as premature babies, it was all so intense.
‘But I really felt like when I took them home that I was out of the trenches, I thought, thank God we’re out of it and I can finally enjoy motherhood. But then this happened, and I was like, what is my life?
‘So many things have happened to me. I remember turning to my mum and saying, ‘Someone up there is playing a game with me.’
‘I am just so grateful that they’re still here because it could have been a very, very different outcome. I just have to be grateful, and they’re just the most beautiful, strongest girls to raise.’
Jesy Nelson: Life After Little Mix is available on Prime Video on 13th February
