Psychotherapist explains why so many women enjoy watching gay sex

After just one episode, steamy TV drama Heated Rivalry has viewers hooked, but for many its appeal is not the show’s tense hockey matches or dramatic storylines – it’s the gay sex scenes.

The show charts the unlikely romance between two rookie hockey players Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams) and Ilya Rozanov (Connor Storrie).

The series, which started airing on on Sky and streaming service NOW this week, have left watchers’ hearts racing, and led to some people heralding the show as the ‘raunchiest’ programme ever.

There are a total of 14 sex scenes across the six-part series – which has already aired in full outside of the UK – which averages out to around two or three per episode.

Experts say that the dramatic rise of the show is part of a growing trend in popularity for same sex male romance in books and TV, particularly with female audiences.

While it doesn’t feature a single female romp, instead drawing focus on the relationship between the male leads, its female fanbase haven’t been shy about why they love it. 

One fan told Cosmopolitan: ‘It hits women like me so hard because it depicts a relationship where all parties involved are treated equally.

‘Women in heterosexual relationships are so used to being devalued by their partner, and their sexual pleasure isn’t always prioritised.

‘It’s just nice to watch smut where nobody is being degraded or devalued and the pleasure of both parties is the top priority.’

Psychotherapist and clinical lead at Living Well UK, Holly Beedon agrees that the dynamic is what appeals to many female viewers. 

She told the Daily Mail: ‘If we look at it through a psychological lens, the reason so many women are drawn to male same-sex romance isn’t really about the explicit side of things.

‘It’s more about what that connection represents emotionally. In so many traditional stories, the focus is on male power or the way a woman’s body is being looked at. But stories like Heated Rivalry shift that focus entirely.

‘By taking the female body out of the centre of the narrative, the emotional bond can actually feel a lot safer and more authentic to watch.’

She explains that there is also a draw to seeing men ‘truly vulnerable.’

‘We’re often used to seeing romance driven by who is in control, but these stories prioritise things like trust, longing, and genuine communication,’ says Ms Beeden.

‘Because Shane and Ilya start as rivals on a level playing field, there’s a sense of total equality between them that you don’t always get in conventional [heterosexual] romances. 

‘For many women, seeing that level of tenderness between two peers is much more resonant than a relationship built on dominance.

‘Crucially, it offers a bit of emotional breathing room. When we watch heterosexual couples, it’s easy to start subconsciously comparing ourselves to the woman on screen, which brings up all sorts of pressures about how we should look or act.

‘Watching this dynamic creates a space where you can enjoy the chemistry and the fantasy without feeling like you’re being evaluated. 

‘It’s refreshing to see men challenge the ‘tough guy’ stereotype and show real care for one another. At the end of the day, it’s about a desire for equality, depth, and a version of love that feels truly human.’

Research suggests that these motivations extend to women watching gay porn as well.

A study published in the scientific journal Porn Studies in 2018 revealed why women watch all male scenes.

A common response to the survey which quizzed nearly 300 female gay porn watchers found that attraction was a factor.

The most common reason women enjoyed male-on-male adult scenes was simply because they found the spectacle of two men having sex to be attractive. As one participant explained, ‘I am attracted to males so seeing two of ’em get it on together is like: BOOM, TWICE THE SEXY!’

Respondents also said that male-on-male scenes felt more authentic and that the actors appeared to be genuinely fond of one another. Some women enjoyed that men were the main object of sexual attraction.