Why you should avoid cuffing season this year – to protect your health

On paper it seems magical: a mug of steaming mulled wine in one hand, your newly acquired paramour’s arm in the other, snuggling under a furry blanket to watch a festive rom-com. 

Just two months ago you had no idea this person existed, but now they’re the centre of your world, joining you for drinks with friends, helping you put your Christmas tree up and insisting that you eat the last mince pie. 

At the back of your mind you suspect that come Easter it’s unlikely that you’ll be on speaking terms, but that doesn’t matter—you’ll be planning your summer holiday by then and you won’t want anyone holding you back, even if they are a fantastic cuddler.

But hunting down a partner just for the colder months—a dating trend known as ‘cuffing’—can have serious psychological repercussions, one senior therapist warned the Daily Mail. 

‘Short-term winter relationships can leave people emotionally drained, confused, and questioning their worth,’ said London-based expert Sally Baker, from Working On The Body.

‘For many, it’s not really about finding love; it’s about avoiding loneliness.

‘We crave warmth and belonging, but if we believe we’re only acceptable when coupled up, that longing can push us into situations that do more harm than good.’ 

This could look like dating someone who is not your usual type, is emotionally unavailable, or even demonstrates abusive behaviour—just so you don’t get FOMO from seeing pictures of your pals and their partners, smiling sweetly while wearing matching snowflake-patterned pyjamas. 

‘Cuffing season’ runs from autumn until spring—roughly from September until early March—meaning we are currently right in the thick of it. 

And, with temperatures dropping and Christmas lights popping up on high streets across the UK, some people who are yet to pair up with a special someone—or anyone at all, just for the time being—are starting to feel the pressure. 

Afterall, there are only six weeks to lock down who you will honour in a cheesy festive social media post—which may or may not have the caption ‘boy done good’ or ‘Chrimbo cocktails with this one’.  

‘Human beings are hardwired to seek connection,’ said Ms Baker. 

‘As daylight shrinks, serotonin levels dip, and our nervous systems crave the calm that comes from closeness. 

‘A body pressed against another body literally steadies the heart rate and quietens anxiety.

‘The brain releases dopamine and cortisol, the same neurochemistry associated with early infatuation, which creates a thrilling, addictive rush.’ 

However, short term seasonal relationships also have the potential to create anxiety, and this, according to Ms Baker, is because the lines between true connection and empty emotional validation can become blurred. 

‘It’s easy to mistake one for the other, especially during the darker months when isolation can sharpen self-doubt,’ she said. 

‘Real connection grows from mutual respect and curiosity. Validation is the quick fix that says, “If someone wants me, I must be worthy”.’

Sadly, it’s not uncommon for cuffing season relationships to fizzle out after a few months, which can be devastating—especially if one of you has developed stronger feelings than the other.

‘Cuffing-season pairings often feel intense because these situations are driven by anxiety rather than genuine compatibility,’ Ms Baker said. 

‘But once the excitement fades, what’s left is the original emptiness. 

‘Temporary relationships may provide comfort at first, but when they fizzle, and most do, the comedown can feel brutal. 

‘The emotional crash isn’t just about losing a partner; it’s about losing the borrowed sense of security that came with them.’

Regardless of if you liked your cuffing season partner more than they liked you, returning back to life as a singleton can be overwhelming, especially if you don’t have a strong sense of identity, or high self-esteem.

‘That’s when the inner critic pipes up: “Why does this always happen to me?” or “What’s wrong with me?” The truth is, nothing is wrong,’ said Ms Baker.

‘The problem isn’t being single; it’s the belief that being single is a failure.’

Thankfully, Britons’ attitudes to being single seem to be shifting, with new research shared by greetings company Thortful last week revealing 77 per cent of people are now actively choosing to forgo a partner. 

A third admitted they’re happier without the constraints and expectations of a committed relationship, with both men and women agreeing that societal pressure to pair up is fading, too.

But there’s still plenty of work to be done around ‘normalising’ being single—and Ms Baker says it starts from within. 

She believes that rather than worrying about coupling up during the colder months, people should turn their attention inwards and instead cultivate the relationship with themselves. 

‘Cuffing season doesn’t have to be about pairing off to survive the winter. 

‘It can be a season of quiet repair, a time to deepen self-trust, reset old patterns, and learn that being alone is not the same as being unloved,’ she explained. 

The winter months also present a fantastic opportunity to build your self-esteem and learn to feel safe and content in your own company—and focus on fulfilling and nurturing relationships with loved ones who will still be in your life this time next year.

She said: ‘Part of dismantling cuffing-season pressure is expanding the definition of intimacy. 

‘It isn’t limited to romance or sex. True closeness encompasses laughter with friends, creative collaboration, shared meals, or moments of honesty, as each of these releases oxytocin, the same hormone that bonds couples, but without the volatility.

‘When you fill your life with genuine connections that aren’t transactional, you naturally stop chasing attention for reassurance. 

‘You begin to experience belonging as something that is generated within you.

‘The more you acknowledge your own efforts, the more your brain releases dopamine in response to self-recognition. 

‘That’s how self-confidence builds, not through being wished into existence or by being distracted by someone else.’

And, the benefits aren’t just that you’ll be kept busy until the weather warms up and it’s fun to make plans again, it can benefit your love life, longterm.  

Ms Baker said: ‘People who engage in this inner work often find that the need to date becomes calmer and more discerning. 

‘They stop mistaking intensity for intimacy. They’re able to enjoy connection without losing themselves inside it.

‘When you stop outsourcing your self-worth, you stop settling for less than genuine love. 

‘And by spring, rather than recovering from another short-term heartbreak, you’ll have something far more valuable: peace in your own skin.’