Waitrose is late to the Christmas advert party this year. Last week John Lewis unveiled its old-school rave dad, to mixed reception, while Marks & Spencer played it safe with the return of Dawn French and her animated fairy side-kick for M&S Food.
Now Waitrose has entered the fray with a syrupy four-minute mini-movie inspired by Richard Curtis romcoms.
Fresh from his appearance on The Celebrity Traitors, comedian Joe Wilkinson stars as sweet-natured singleton Phil, who overcomes his shyness to woo an equally lovelorn Keira Knightley – played by Keira herself in cosy scarves and PJs.
If you ignore the fact both are happily married in real life, it is not as unlikely a pairing as you might think.
Believe it or not, Wilkinson’s bearded hipster-next-door charm has gained him a surprisingly large female fan base over the past few weeks.
With impeccable rom-com credentials – it’s directed by Bafta-award winning Molly Manners, who also helmed Netflix’s dramatisation of David Nicholls’ bestseller One Day last year – the ad is designed to showcase the store’s upmarket credentials as much as the food.
This is Waitrose as pure middle class aspiration, as wholesome as Christmas cake and as British as a pint in a pub called The Pie Makers Arms, which is where the advert starts.
Here our heartbroken hero Phil (Wilkinson played Uncle Phil in last year’s whodunnit Waitrose ad) is consoled by friends who tell him that ‘Shelley’ would have wanted him to ‘move on’ with someone else.
Whether Shelley is Phil’s former partner or simply persona non grata like Colin Firth’s cheating girlfriend in Love Actually, we are never told, yet Shelley has decreed ‘the only person I could move on with is Keira Knightley’.
To which Phil’s friend scoffs ‘Keira Knightley? Well, good luck with that mate.’
Cut to a meet-cute over the deli counter in a Waitrose store, (filmed in the real Waitrose branch in Kingston, Surrey), where both simultaneously ask the assistant for the Sussex Charmer Mature Cheddar.
A date is arranged and a classic rom-com montage follows – the happy couple walking along snowy streets, playfully pushing each other over, nibbling more cheese on the sofa and slowly sliding closer and closer together. Romance inevitably follows.
Waitrose says the point of the advert is food as a love language, and what Keira is telling Phil with a tray of home-made biscuits decorated with big bushy icing beards is that nerdy men in duffel coats can have film star girlfriends.
‘They’re all of me!’ says Phil of the biscuits, in a playful nod to Keira’s line in Love Actually, when her character watches the wedding video and realises she’s the main attraction.
Indeed many will think the ad is only saved from sugar overload by Wilkinson’s mildly subversive presence. From agent of chaos on Channel 4’s comedy panel game 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown to full-on romantic hero – via the Joe-mance with Joe Marler on Celebrity Traitors – his ascent to national treasure status is surely well on course.
Love’s path is not straightforward, however, and after wires get miserably crossed, Phil decides to express his true feelings in edible form – with a home-made turkey pie prepared according to Keira’s Nan’s recipe.
It’s not clear how he got hold of this, but as with all good romcoms it’s best not to analyse the plot too closely. What we do know is that it’s based on Waitrose’s No 1 Festive Turkey Pie, with cider marinated turkey thigh and all butter puff pastry (£8.95 for two people).
Phil’s version is made with all the precision and love of a Bake Off showstopper, though I can’t be the only one worried about stray beard hairs.
As he delivers it to Keira’s lovely white mansion, the snow falling thickly outside, the scene feels deliberately reminiscent of the cue cards moment in Love Actually when Mark (Andrew Lincoln) appears with a CD player to declare his undying love for, who else, Keira Knightley’s Juliet. And eventually, of course, all is sealed with a kiss.
As Waitrose unveiled the ad yesterday, we were told that Richard Curtis himself had given it his blessing, calling it ‘sweet as pie’, while Wilkinson said: ‘This year, Phil got to enjoy both the love and the food he truly deserved. As you can imagine, it was tough having to eat the delicious Waitrose food and falling in love with Keira, but I just got on with it, like the trooper I am!’
